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Janice MacGregor donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Thursday, March 19, 2026
In memory of Mary.
May this donation help others in the future .
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Anna MacDonald posted a condolence
Sunday, February 8, 2026
I feel so incredibly lucky to have met Mary. I will always remember her warmth, her kind voice, and the elegance with which she carried herself through the world.
Mary was the best mentor and master's supervisor imaginable. She really believed in you and knew exactly what to say to remind you why you were doing this. She saw you exactly how you were and she accepted you for it, celebrated it. I will always remember how she came to my family home to celebrate my graduation and regailed us all with stories in only the way that she could. It was always poetry when Mary spoke. And I'm not even referring to the way her scholarship completely revolutionized the field of Rossetti and informed my own approach to literature as well as all those fellow students who looked up to her. To hear her speak always felt like a gift.
Apart from her brilliance as a scholar, what made her a great teacher was that she taught you how important it was to rest and recuperate when you needed. This gave her a patience and grace I've rarely encountered in another person, and I will keep that lesson close to my heart for always.
And of course, the pride she had in her family was ferocious. She would get a sparkle in her eye every time she brought up "my Darcy" or the kids. One of the last times I spoke to her was at an online conference. She began a private chat with me and said "Guess what! I'm a grandmother!! Can you believe it!?" It struck me as absolutely charming how she took on such a girlish excitement as she talked about being a grandmother. My thoughts are with the whole family.
I'm reminded of Rossetti's words in "Remember":
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
I'll miss you dearly, Mary, and I'll always remember you and smile.
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Richard Cooper posted a condolence
Saturday, February 7, 2026
Darcy and Family; Please accept our sincerest condolences on your loss.
Richard Cooper and Debra Karbashewski.
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Ann Salvatore donated to The Dementia Society Ottawa Renfrew County / La Sociétéde La Démence Dottawa Et Du Comte De Renfrew
Saturday, February 7, 2026
Our sincerest condolences. We have very fond memories of our time in Barrhaven as neighbours and friends. May Mary rest in peace.
Ann and Johnny Salvatore and family
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Lauren McCullagh donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Saturday, February 7, 2026
Dear Darcy, Emery, Rowan and Madox,
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am sorry I can't be there in person and I am sending big hugs. Mary was such a light and love of the family, and I will miss her laugh and endless warmth.
Love you all.
lauren
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Vanessa McKenzie posted a condolence
Friday, February 6, 2026
Our deepest condolences to Mary’s family. We hope your memories bring some comfort. You are her legacy, and she was immensely proud of all of you. Her passion for life, her kindness and intelligence are evident in your lives.
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Brian Baker donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Friday, February 6, 2026
So very sorry for your loss.
May the memory of good times and the support of family and friends help ease your sorrow and bring you peace.
With sincerest condolences...
Brian Baker & Darlene Van Tassel
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Susan Pelletier donated to The Dementia Society Ottawa Renfrew County / La Sociétéde La Démence Dottawa Et Du Comte De Renfrew
Friday, February 6, 2026
Mary’s warmth and the joy she took in her family permeated her being. She will live on in the wonderful memories she left you.
Our deepest condolences on her passing,
Susan Pelletier and Greg Andrew
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Aida Hudson posted a condolence
Friday, February 6, 2026
Mary was such a lovely person, always cheerful and smiling. I taught her courses when she was ill. In turn, she encouraged and supported me in all my projects. She was a warm and engaging colleague, a well-loved professor, and a fine scholar. Mary will be missed by everyone who had the privilege of knowing her.
Aida Hudson
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Eva Lachance donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Friday, February 6, 2026
She was my professor in Victorian Women’s’ Poetry in 2001 and became a mentor, friend and role model. Her teaching and example inspired me to think deeply and have the courage to face my MS.
Cecile
We remember Mary’s laughter and warmth that she brought to our neighborhood.
Eva and Paul
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Teresa and Brian uploaded photo(s)
Friday, February 6, 2026
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Our favourite photo of Mary
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Marjorie Stone posted a condolence
Thursday, February 5, 2026
Mary, you were such a dear friend and colleague over many years. I have so many vivid pictures of your warm and generous smile in my mind and recollections of happy meetings with you. You were such a loving wife and mother, so proud and enthusiastic in describing the many achievements of Darcy and your amazingly talented children. You will live on in so many people's memories, and your brilliant scholarship on Christina Rossetti will be a gift for future students and scholars.
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Teresa posted a condolence
Thursday, February 5, 2026
Darcy, Emery, Rowan, Madox, and all of Mary’s loved ones,
We are still reeling (and Teresa is periodically crying) after hearing of Mary’s death. We both thought we’d have much more time with her, especially now that Brian is planning to retire in a few months, and we’ll have greater freedom to travel. We are heartbroken that we won’t again get to see one of our dearest friends, who has, for nearly 40 years, been someone we’ve absolutely adored. We’d walk away from our meetings with Mary and Darcy on their own and sometimes with Emery, Rowan, and Madox too (as you arrived in your time in your Mom and Dad’s lives) talking about how much we loved being with you all.
But, instead of lamenting our own loss, we’d like to be of some comfort to you in your much greater loss. So, although you will know this well, Emery, Rowan, and Madox, Mary was so immensely delighted and proud to be your Mother. The beginning of every visit was an enthusiastic rundown of each of your latest accomplishments. We heard about awards, special achievements in school, postsecondary attainments, and career goals and shifts. Often, at your mother’s request, we were treated to gymnastic displays, songs from the musicals in which you were starring (performances which might end with your Mom and Dad doing a duet), impromptu performances of your various talents, and a list of the little, sweet things you had been doing since we last saw you.
This was all very entertaining to us, and we were so pleased to see how in your mother’s eyes you were the most amazing creatures on the planet, and so very glad to know that she felt that she was truly fortunate in her astonishing children…except when it came to board games, at which point, it was everyone for themselves and Mary always won (because, as you also know, she really liked winning). And then when it came to the next generation – your children, Emery and Doug – she had so many stories to tell, even about your littlest one, only a few months old, whom we’ve heard is a jewel among babies. For Mary, motherhood was one of her life’s greatest accomplishments. And it’s been a true pleasure to watch you grow up and to hear about all the parts we missed because we lived too far away.
Darcy, we keep talking about how glad we are that you and Mary had so many decades together. From the time we first met you two in grad school at UWO until now, it’s always been clear to us that you were a splendid match: two people who, although unalike in many ways, shared a bond greater than that of most couples. You had so much fun together, and when we four gathered for our visits, we usually spent the time laughing. But we also saw you support each other through difficult times. We loved your honesty, how you were so generous in what you shared with us of your lives and your family, and how wonderfully hospitable you always were when we’d show up after even years of not seeing each other. In our life as a couple, you and Mary have been a gift to us for which we’ll always be grateful.
You are a remarkable family, strong enough to weather even this.
Mary was all the many wonderful things everyone has been saying about her: brilliant, witty, curious, beautiful, loving, fun, generous, kind, and thoroughly delighted to be alive. She was effervescent; she sparkled. She also had the emotional strength of a giant in the way she managed the obstacles in her life. And she was instrumental in our own early relationship: through careful inquiry one day in December 1988, she figured out that Teresa loved Brian and then announced it to Brian while they were carolling together, so when Teresa finally confessed to Brian that she loved him, he responded, “I know. Mary told me.” We admired and loved her. For us, she is utterly irreplaceable.
We’re thinking of you a lot these days. We’re grateful that we got to see Mary, Darcy, Madox and Catherine last summer and to hear about Emery’s and Doug’s and Rowan’s and Julian’s most recent milestones. We wish we could be with you all now in this hardest of times, but we know you are in good hands with all your loving friends and family, and we know that you will take good care of each other through this sorrow. Our hearts our with you.
Until next we meet, love,
Brian and Teresa
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Teresa Hubel and Brian Patton purchased flowers
Thursday, February 5, 2026
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Teresa Hubel and Brian Patton
purchased the Designer's Choice Bouquet for the family of Mary Arseneau.
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We are missing Mary more than we can say. She was incomparable. Sending you all our love and our support, Brian and Teresa
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Carron Coleman posted a condolence
Thursday, February 5, 2026
To Mary's husband, children, families and Mary's siblings I am so sorry to hear of Mary's passing, I went to high school with Mary and sang in the choral together while in high school. Mary was such a sweet pleasant person with lots of energy and full of fun. May your memories of good times help you get thru these days. Thoughts and prayers for you all.
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Findlay Beith donated to The Dementia Society Ottawa Renfrew County / La Sociétéde La Démence Dottawa Et Du Comte De Renfrew
Thursday, February 5, 2026
Darcy our sincere condolences to you and family. Thinking of you. Findlay & Sherrie
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Delores MacPherson (MacLellan) posted a condolence
Thursday, February 5, 2026
To all the dear family of Mary Arseneau,
We wanted you to know that there are many of her high school friends deeply saddened to learn anbout Mary's passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all during these difficult days in Ottawa. Mary was a brilliant student with a beautiful smile at Holy Angels High. Sadly I have not seen her since our last high school reunion in 2009, but we all had so much fun reminiscing together and catching up on life. Gone too soon and she will be deeply missed by many!
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DRS Technologies Canada Ltd. donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Wednesday, February 4, 2026
Our Sincere Condolences to Darcy and Family from DRS Technologies Canada Ltd.
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Lorraine Janzen Kooistra posted a condolence
Wednesday, February 4, 2026
My sincere condolences to the family for your devastating loss of Mary, beautiful inside and out, an amazing woman in every way; I am holding you in the light in these dark winter days. It was a joy to meet Mary in 1994, during the events in UK and North America celebrating Christina Rossetti's centenary. Over the years, it was always a delight to collaborate on professional projects and to share personal experiences. Mary was a generous friend and colleague, an inspiration, mentor, and guide in all things. She combined academic brilliance with deep human wisdom. I learned a tremendous amount from her, both professionally and personally, and will miss her blithe spirit, delightful laugh, and penetrating insights. I'll close with the final lines of the poem that brought us together in the '90s, and the last one we collaborated on in C21:
"For there is no friend like a sister
In calm or stormy weather:
To cheer one on the tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes astray,
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen whilst one stands."
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Linda Morra donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Tuesday, February 3, 2026
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. As a former graduate student at the University of Ottawa, I knew Mary as one of the kindest, gentlest souls: a model of compassion and intellect. We all loved her. The loss is tremendous.
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Tony Harrison posted a condolence
Tuesday, February 3, 2026
Mary was one of the most wonderful human beings I have had the good fortune to know and collaborate with over the years: a creative and original thinker, brilliant, witty, resilient, sensitive and generous. Her loss is immense. I, and everyone who knew her, will miss her deeply.
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Jenny Haysom posted a condolence
Tuesday, February 3, 2026
Such heartbreaking news. Mary was the loveliest person.
I was in her very first graduate seminar, at Ottawa U, on the Pre-Raphaelites. Mary was barely older than her students then. I can just picture her breezing into that seminar room, bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked, ready to unravel the mysteries of Victorian verse. We all wanted to be like her––brilliant, beautiful, and ever so kind.
Mary and I stayed in touch, became friends, and had some excellent chats over the years, often conducted on street corners in the Glebe. We talked intensely and passionately about life, about motherhood and illness, our wonderful children, and, of course, the poetry of Christina Rossetti. For every moment, Mary had the perfect quote, found beauty, wonder, and solace in those words. Here’s a poem she might read for us now, having faith in both the struggle and the reward for a life well-lived:
Up-Hill
Does the road wind up-hill all the way?
Yes, to the very end.
Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?
From morn to night, my friend.
But is there for the night a resting-place?
A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
You cannot miss that inn.
Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
They will not keep you standing at that door.
Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
Of labour you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
Yea, beds for all who come.
I wish I could express my condolences in person, but we live in Halifax now. Knowing that I will not run into Mary in Ottawa, or anywhere else again, fills me with grief. She was a gem.
Jenny Haysom
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Kathryn Ready donated to MS Canada SP Canada
Monday, February 2, 2026
I am so sorry for your loss. I remember Mary as a warm, kind, and lovely person, with a wonderful smile. Mary served on my dissertation committee when I was a doctoral student at the University of Ottawa, and I will forever be grateful for her generosity as a reader and the encouragement she gave me at a time when I needed it most in deciding my future career. This encouragement meant so much to me, and as much as possible I have always tried to follow her example as a professor myself.
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Clifford Sims posted a condolence
Monday, February 2, 2026
“Tears, such as Angels weep”. I will always treasure Mary’s warmth, wit and graceful kindness. Our condolences to Darcy and all of your family. May she rest in peace.
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Elizabeth White posted a condolence
Monday, February 2, 2026
I was very fortunate to have worked over 13 years for Mary, as the Secretary for the Department of English. Mary always walked into the office with a bounce in her step and a smile that brightened up any room. She always spoke so highly of her family, especially her children and grandchildren. She and I always had the greatest conversations and endless laughs. She will be greatly missed, as she touched so many students and colleagues lives. I am sending my deepest condolences to Mary's family. Please hold onto the wonderful memories that you have of her as they will keep you strong during this very sad time.
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Brian Diemert posted a condolence
Monday, February 2, 2026
I am so sorry to hear of Mary's passing. She was a lovely and vibrant person. Love and sympathy to Darcy and the family.
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Kevin Gillis posted a condolence
Monday, February 2, 2026
My sincere condolences to all the family but especially to those siblings from John to Andre whom I knew personally growing up in Sydney. Mary certainly left this world way too early. I am sure she will be missed by not only family members but to so many more from relatives and friends to students at the university. May she rest in peace.
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Chandra Martens Sirois posted a condolence
Saturday, January 31, 2026
We are so sorry to hear this. She was such a lovely person. Gone too soon. Love and prayers to you, Darcy and the family xo
Louis and Chandra and family
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Sydney Curling Club posted a condolence
Saturday, January 31, 2026
Our sincerest condolences.
Sydney Curling Club
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Karen posted a condolence
Saturday, January 31, 2026
My heart is broken. I will remember her as a devoted mother and wife - that is her legacy. May her soul rest in eternal peace.
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The family of Mary Arseneau uploaded a photo
Saturday, January 31, 2026
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2500 Baseline Rd
Ottawa, ON K2C 3H9
Telephone: (613) 829-3600
Fax: (613) 829-8357
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